When you are feeling triggered by someone, it’s most likely not because of their behavior, but because of your own unresolved emotional material. If you allow for this possibility you’ve done half of the work.
The other half consists of letting yourself be with the difficult feelings. The key is to let them pass without projecting the blame, without the judgement. That is called witnessing. When you practice the observer consciousness you will be able to pick up the patterns and find the source of your pain. You might discover that you have memories of the particular triggered emotion that reach far back into your childhood. This is best practiced with a friend who can offer a steady emotional support, or a coach.
Whatever stories you might discover, just acknowledge them. There is no need to dig into the details, find someone to blame – that would be focusing on the external again. Just stay with all that’s going on internally, allow it to be witnessed without a judgement. Feel into the wholeness of your somatic experience. It will intensify and then pass, leaving you more aware of yourself.
Maybe at one point in your life you acquired the belief that you are unworthy of love or that there is something inherently wrong with you? Would you be willing to allow for the possibility that this belief is not true?
If this came up, then maybe it is time to let it go.
If you wish to talk about this process or get right into the bottom of your trigger, reach out. I will take it from there. I have 30 minute free sessions for people who want to try it out and come out of the old patterns, just like you.
Photo by: James Keays