Dismantling Societal Conditioning


One of the most difficult tasks we face as parents is dismantling our own conditioning – the default behavioral state acquired over years of compelled obedience to arbitrary norms. That’s because doing so requires dealing with something invisible to the untrained eye: the strings that are constantly pulled by the subconscious.  

It is important to try no matter what, as the societal conditioning is the major driver in our parental decision-making. The conditioning works through repetition of expected conformance to external messages. It usually hovers around such concepts as morality, self-perception and possibility. We are born and raised into cultural conditioning, with a 100% probability of infection.

Conditioning is carried by ceaseless messaging pushed by mass media, literature, celebrity opinions, and various authority figures. The intensity of the conditioning is maintained by an artificial gap wedged between having and needing, leading us to attempt to fill the perceived void with consumer goods, lifestyles and by assuming identities (such as “conscious” or “woke”parent, among many others).

EXAMPLE: A celebrity mom posing as a parenting expert, who promotes sleep-training to parents of newborns calling it a spiritual practice (such letting babies cry until they pass out).  Entrenched conditioning will lead many parents to interpret this suggestion as an expert opinion on the sole strength of the celebrity’s material status and popularity. When they do so, they disconnect their own sense of what serves their child and override it with an outside suggestion.

To dismantle your conditioning you must first understand how it works:


The base of most conditioning programs is the belief in authority. You can easily loosen it up by targeting your authority programming. How? Simply by questioning what you know. Once you begin that journey you will fast realize that 99% of what you “know” to be true is based on what you’ve heard from others, from some kind of authorities in your life. At that point, many people want to throw in the towel as the reality begins to appear less stable. Our brains are big time into safety and will cling to what’s known, which happens to be the old programming. Just hang in there and let yourself know you are safe. By allowing the possibility that the reality is not quite what you think it is, you will begin to develop a tolerance to the unknown, which is instrumental in the de-conditioning endeavours. This practice is bound to open up a space for you to begin questioning what you hear. And that is 50% of success.

Conditioning often targets our self-image. Once we begin to deprogram we notice that who we think we are is a number of labels we assigned to ourselves. None of those labels are most likely grounded in our true nature. An important element of the societal programming is creation of ready-to-inhabit identities for people to associate themselves with. These inorganic identities appeal to our sense of belonging and are very convenient to our programmers as they build uniformity and discourage individuality. A homogeneous group is much easier to target by the advertisers or political candidates. To loosen up the identity programs find a quiet moment and sit down with a pen and paper. On top of your page write “Who are you?”. Then, let the answers come to you. Read your statements and start again “Who are you?”. Do this several times. The first few attempts will produce a well put-together picture of yourself. The deeper you go the stranger your descriptions of yourself will become. When you run out of words to write, just sit quietly with yourself and FEEL. This is who you are.

If you wish to deprogram more, return to your write up and assess which one of the mentioned identities you are most attached to. Then consciously observe yourself during the day when you are acting from one of those identities. Once observed and brought up to consciousness they’ll loose their grip over you.


Once you’ve created a space to allow for a new perspective, it is time to take a look at what’s pulling your strings. What really, truly motivates your actions? For that, you’ll need to be really nice to yourself and suspend your judgement. Decide to be radically self-honest and watch yourself in action. If you persist, you will be able to uncover 3 most common motivators that pull your strings. If you remain open without focusing on an outcome, you might have some fun with that one too! This is important intelligence as it will clarify to you the most common ways in which you can be played and what you see that coming, you will pay more attention to what is happening internally.


The societal programming doesn’t enter the mind via the big red door with “REASON” written all over it. It creeps up quietly through the back gate of your subconscious mind. It takes about 7 repetitions for the subconscious mind to begin believing a phrase to be true, no matter how illogical it is (advertisers have relied on this trick for decades!). So, it’s to minimize your exposure to programming. Once you are out of the mass media loop for about a week you will be astonished to notice how many people repeat the very same phrases that they most likely picked up from the media and reinforced it by repeating it to one another.

The world may appear insane once you begin to deprogram, but, really, what we all want for ourselves and our children is to know how to navigate the reality and NOT be constantly pushed and pulled by it. So begin to question the “facts” and have fun re-discovering your reality!